The last entry from my three day hermitage reads:
“4-4-9 4:05pm
Hear things not meant to be heard.
I will prostrate myself to the wind
And un-become what I have became.”
Throughout the two years that followed, these twin lights witnessed deception first hand
And the double punctures have pounded with hollow guarantees.
Once I did take a leap of faith and trust the invisible force, which brought me crashing face first into the concrete.
After that incident, I was left alone to pick up the shards of my once pure heart.
Yet further back I sent an invitation to someone still unknown.
“11-9-4 2:12pm
Dance with me on the floor of infinity, and lay with me in the sands of time.”
I’ve had a few partners, but we could not anticipate each other’s moves. Frustration and confusion were ripe in those days. I eventually danced alone, and lead myself to this moment.
My personal history is doing its best to show me truth. But where does truth reside? Every word has a definition, and every definition is filled with words, so the research just repeats. There has to be a way to rise above simple text, and connect to the feeling behind them. I try my best to elevate to a higher level of thinking, but get hung up on the after thoughts. Holding steadfast to the earth for fear that my words will be taken out of context.
I must stop trying and just do.
When spring offers up its first blossom I shall say goodbye to all parts of my past.
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