16 21 18 9 20 25

Rain dripped from my hair with clarity.

While lying on the grass, I understood why.

Home was where the dragon lives.

Effortless movement on a lonely platform validated my existence.

I showed up with a swollen eye and hair a shade of butterscotch.

So incredibly lost, not having any idea how serious life could be.

Now too much of it has vanished.

I hadn’t thought you’d approach me in the cold,

Or that your glossy speech would even try to put pressure on mine.

I am still wandering, but “at least” I now know what to expect.

The places to run from myself.

How to find absolution in the unknown.

Have I always been troubled,

Or am I simply just trouble?

For Your Consideration

The patterns of light that dance behind my eyelids play tricks on me. In my sleep I clearly see the instructions that have been handed down by vicious and treacherous lovers.

There was one that lifted the doubt in my mind, never misleading me with tales spun from desperation.

Pure candor.

Even when it evaporated on the blacktop, kindness flourished (like the flowers that brought us together).

What is hidden can surface within the right environment.

Now the stage is set, and I must lead the last act, so simple to do,

But I am firm in the knowledge that once it is displayed, the final curtain will fall.

That alone leaves me apprehensive; for I am sure there will be no other engagements after this run has finished.

Her name reflected mine, and I swear that briberies never felt so right.

My brightest days still float in those eyes, and the foolish ramblings born from these lips will forever soar on the breeze.

My muscles beg for rest, but howling corridors of thought call to me, leading me further to some distant destination.

I must endure and raise my head high to see the glory falling all around me.

The way it is, is like none before.
I tingle with justice as karma finishes the last of its payments.

I taste mint.

Red

The passion inside has been forced to the top of my essence,

Reveling flames, burning through sacred realization.

Pressed between the pages of time,

The dragonfly has stained my favorite lines.

Words of regret on the still painting of life, haunt the memory of what was.

However, the kinks of freedom (no matter how frightening)

Will give strength in the resolution sure to come.

Unwritten pauses get stuck in ice, and require a push in boots to continue on.

Shame of who I am puzzles me during the eclipse of opportunity.

Just as Orion pursued the seven sisters,

I too am fascinated with the mysticism surrounding the stars.

Unable to venture into the deeper realms of existence,

I procure as much oxygen as I can, and orbit the moon.

Only to get a glimpse of infinity.

Frost

I want to feel serendipity swim through the heat emanating from my shell,

Finally cooling the furnace burning within, and transporting me to what lies beyond this supernova.

Hesitating to start the drive that holds the final farewell,

My mind spins around the target placed in the center of Eden.

I run from the intersecting lines of life, and chose to wander alone, barefoot in these beautiful snowflakes.

Ending at its genesis,

The entire experience has been compressed into the shortest hours I have known.

The only constant in all of my falls has been the frost in the air,

Keeping me suspended, so I am able to move on with the changing season.

I am now Atlas standing tall,

Holding up the heavens with the smallest of my fingers.

Texture

The texture of these pages feels… strange between my fingers. The slight rise of the graphite, the pieces left over from mistakes.. my youth saying hello.
The last entry from my three day hermitage reads:

“4-4-9 4:05pm
I will see things not meant to be seen.
Hear things not meant to be heard.
I will prostrate myself to the wind
And un-become what I have became.”

Throughout the two years that followed, these twin lights witnessed deception first hand
And the double punctures have pounded with hollow guarantees.
Once I did take a leap of faith and trust the invisible force, which brought me crashing face first into the concrete.
After that incident, I was left alone to pick up the shards of my once pure heart.

Yet further back I sent an invitation to someone still unknown.

“11-9-4 2:12pm
Dance with me on the floor of infinity, and lay with me in the sands of time.”

I’ve had a few partners, but we could not anticipate each other’s moves.  Frustration and confusion were ripe in those days. I eventually danced alone, and lead myself to this moment.

My personal history is doing its best to show me truth. But where does truth reside? Every word has a definition, and every definition is filled with words, so the research just repeats. There has to be a way to rise above simple text, and connect to the feeling behind them. I try my best to elevate to a higher level of thinking, but get hung up on the after thoughts. Holding steadfast to the earth for fear that my words will be taken out of context.
I must stop trying and just do.

When spring offers up its first blossom I shall say goodbye to all parts of my past.

One Day

This muse will lay with the others in my private garden, where forget-me-nots and bleeding hearts hold the only color (too much sugar turned the roses and violets gray).

Is it best to leave it all behind?

For now, I sail on through the vast nothingness of the sea. With time I have learned to respect its currents, and through experience, how to spot the sirens before I heard them. Some creatures must be left to their own environment; few have the desire to feel the wind.

Beauty is reflected through actions. It’s not the cause, as the effect is well past the source.

I plead for calm waters and warm sand between my fingers. I dream of the shade, and for shadows to take my own away. The skulls around my wrist remind me that everything decays, yet I continue the search for my heart. When I find it, I will finally be home.

Near

With the lighthouse abandoned, I find that the sea still holds me captive.

Attempting to find another harbor,

My breath is taken by the salty pull of desire.

The watery temptress does nothing to starve me, so into the ocean I go.

Finding the right way to speak was difficult at first,

So we created our own language.

I was left to discover on my own.

There may have been a plan under the surface,

But the trio that surrounds me disappeared.

Getting lost at these depths happens all the time.

You just need to know where the pockets of air hide,

Lest you drown trying to break free.

The Brightest

Years ago I started a new path.

Random events kept it clear.

Although I was not able to travel further than a few feet at a time,

I always knew where the opening was.

Never knowing who I would run into,

The short lived journeys still left me with an eternal smile.

With the onset of time however, complications have arisen.

The once clear ground has now become overrun,
And debris blocks my way.

Feeling like this is my last chance,

I took the next train.

My destination, home.

Unbeknownst to me, there were not enough pieces left to complete the track.

My mind urgently reflects back to a place where I reset.

A time where for seventy-two hours I lived in silence.

The solitude kept bouncing back at me in the darkness.

And the light, well that's a different story.

I take soft pride with the way this came to be.

Yet to be resolved,

But I am certain it will favor a past that holds fewer patches than mine.

Conversations of the immediate future brought me here,

An abrupt distance dragged me further still.

How could I have ever thought about closure,

When that was always the furthest thing from my mind?

Always With Honesty

Always With Honesty

This maze is taking longer than anticipated to navigate.
If I remember correctly from my past accomplishments,
It will also require much patience and a level head.

The feeling of things undone is one I know all too well.
The time that never counted now does,
And with each passing year, moves quicker.

They never tell you that the magic is real.
Silence is not always a sign of abandonment.
Respect in all situations is given.

I am the same, but new.
Each passing month has added a new color to my energy.
Skill sets have improved, but modesty rains over me still.
I do not wish to vanish once again,
But without outside input, I have to believe that I must.

The trick is that there is none, this moment is all there is.
Like every storm, it will end,
And life will return to what it was.

Strange, like there is a life I have not lived.
Unrequited memories ring true with their questions.
I cannot answer them, so I let them long.
One day my mirror will reflect the right light,
And the lost paradise will finally merge with the forsaken future.

Aquarius

Aquarius

Being transported to a simpler line of sight,

Echoes throughout the faint texture in my bones.

Once again grasped by random chance and fate,

The vibe fills every corner of this skin.

That early morning mist,

Once harboring terrors most foul.

Now full of mystery,

(Blue-green electric wonder)

A soft brush of velvet.

The red smile to alert its arrival.

Grace offered up freely,

With affection overflowing.

So much to offer..

Time never intersects in the way that it must.

My own foolish choices,

Block light from the shadows where I reside.

Some things take longer,

With others never meant to be.

Repeating patterns reflect the truth,

Breaking the cycle requires an army.

The whisper of a kiss holds me still.

A statement of seclusion keeps me on my guard.

This ancient feeling stands at attention.

Pure emotion forever by my side.